he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My ass is underappreciated
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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