That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
