Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
