I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
