You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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