I hate your face
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
