he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
