Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
