marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
