You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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