Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
