i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
