i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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