I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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