Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
