I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
