i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
