If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
