wanna go halves on a baby?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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