OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my life...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize