There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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