i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
