Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
