oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
