Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
