gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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