I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
where does the pee come out of this thing
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
