im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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