I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Hippo gnu deer
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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