Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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