Michael Bay diarrhea
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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