The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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