I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
