Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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