True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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