dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You took a bar mat shot.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
