My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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