Duck Duck Cougar?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
