No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
A bitchslap is in order.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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