Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
