she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
