There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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