dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
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I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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