he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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