I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
