Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
