i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize