What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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