Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
