Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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