I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The air was thick with penises
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
