Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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