You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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