id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
When are your genitals available?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
