3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
