escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
