so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
