If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
